Whether you’re a stay at home mom, or a working mom, in my eyes you are fabulous either way.
So death to all the mommy wars!
I’m a full time working mom, and it’s not easy being away from my daughter 8 hrs a day (That’s a lot of time). I feel it’s necessary for me to work harder at spending quality time with her, whether I had a 2hr night of sleep, a long annoying day at work etc. my daughter deserves to spend time with mommy. I am thankful that I have a pretty flexible job, so I am able to go into work early, and still have the rest of the day to spend time with my daughter, so as soon as I get off from work I am rushing home to my daughter, and on my off days I don’t want to anything that doesn’t involve my daughter (so friends, when I say I don’t want to hang out please understand that I’m being a mommy)
I remember being pregnant and people asking me if I was going to go back to work after I had the baby. When I told them yes, I had some people straight critiquing, and giving me their yet again, unsolicited advice.
Telling me that my baby needed me at home and that I shouldn’t go back to work. Saying that a 3 months leave from work isn’t enough. Telling me things that I ALREADY knew, “You won’t ever get these times back” (don’t you think I’ve thought of that).
Sometimes it’s other pregnant mothers criticizing you for going back to work. Rubbing it in your face that they’re going to stay home with their child, and they’re lucky they’re not going to miss any milestones.
Sometimes it’s women who aren’t even mothers, saying what they’re going to do when they decide to have kids (Yea, come back to me when you have a child)
Women give each other enough criticism, I think we should empower one another and stop constantly trying to tear each other down.
I believe we can all learn from one another, and we should practice that.
Personally for me it’s a sensitive topic, because it’s a hard decision to make having to go back to work and leave my daughter. It’s really hard for me especially, because I am a control freak, and I want things to go my way, or even the thought of her becoming more attached to her baby sister than me.
One thing I am so thankful for is being blessed to have many family members who can babysit, such as my mom, Sekou’s mom or grandmother because that would be another story having to put her in child care with someone I don’t know too well (I could only imagine how hard that could be).
I read an article about working mom vs. stay at home mom’s and it stated in that everyone envies what the other has, and in my opinion I think that’s true, after speaking to my friends who are working moms and other friends who are stay at home moms the working mom wishes they could spend more time with their child, and pray they don’t miss milestones, and the stay at home mom wishes they can get out hang out with other adults, and have adult conversations, or get recognition for the hard work they do at home with the kids, even though they aren’t working at an office.
Like I said earlier you are fabulous whether you are a working mom or stay at home mom.
My mother always taught my siblings and I to not envy what others have, because you never know what they had to do to get there, or if they’re are even happy doing so.
So appreciate what you have, and don’t wish for what others have.
I agree with you 100%
Thank you for stopping by Melanie
Hey Lotanna, I agree, the grass does seem greener on the other side. My daughter will be 1 on the 31st, they’re just a couple days apart.
Thank you for stopping by, come back again.
Heartfelt post that I enjoyed reading. Each parent has a different circumstance to raise their child in what they feel is best for their needs which must be honored. Stop the envy and help each other! These are not easy times financially and most people have to go to work whether they want to or not.
Hey Demitra!
Its Lotanna from ps135. Have to say as a new mom I’ve been enjoying your blog so far. My daughter Ivory is going to be a year August 27th and I definitely saw myself working full time by now. I’m currently a stay at home mom, working from home and although it was not the plan I’m learning to appreciate this time I have to spend with my baby.
The grass does always seems greener on the other side though. There are times where I miss being financially independent in my relationship and being able to interact with other adults throughout the day but i have accepted my beautiful reality. I think it’s important for mothers to encourage eachother to do the best we can and not judge; there’s no wrong or right way to do it when your heart is in the right place.
Wow that is such an ignorant response as to what a full time mom is, I have so much guilt about working so many hours away from my son, but I know that all I do is for his future. You gave her the perfect response “a full time mom with a full time job” I love that!!!! 😃
I totally agree with you. There’s always going to be those people with their opinions. As a full time worker and mom, I already have my personal guilt of not being there more, I don’t need others opinions on top of it. By the way, your response was priceless!!
Thank You stopping by.
Wow, that must have been hard, but seems like you’re doing a great job. Congratulations to Jeremiah, I am sure this is just the beginning to more greatness. Thank you for stopping by Tamika. Come back and read more:)
Thank You so much sis!!!
ThanK You Tukie. its not easy all. I am glad I have other mothers like yourself who can relate. And YAYYY to Santana getting into swimming, he’s going to enjoy it. Thank you for reading!
OMG Demi it was such a delight to read this, because I got comments from certain people telling me I needed to find a full time job because Alsemia can’t do it on his own, and it was insulting because what people didn’t know was that I started to seek full time work right after giving birth to Santana because I wanted so badly to get out have those adult conversations and be amongst the working class. Now sadly enough I am away from Santana for nine hours everyday with other small children watching their milestones and missing his; and don’t get me wrong I love my work I enjoy working with children, but I miss my handsome boy for all those hours, and I am also rushing home to spend all my remaining hours with my boy. Anyway I really loved this and I know I’m going to love reading your mommy blog.
P.S. SANTANA STARTS SWIMMING SEPTEMBER 12th!!!!
well said my little sister, you are a great mom/sister/daughter/auntie anyone could ever ask for keep up the good work. Love you 😘
My name is Tamika Bennett. I also lives in Brooklyn. We don’t know each other but I know of your sister and we have a common friend Lynnsue. Reading this article made me embrace myself more because I can relate. I have a 5 year old son name Jeremiah that basically been raising him since birth.
Last year I was working two jobs so I can provide for myself and my son. He started kindergarten and things alot for me that I didn’t have a clue what to do. Kids adapt to other kids. He started to ask for his father alot and use to cry at nights. Things hit me real hard when his teacher told me he’s not doing well at all in school. That’s when I quit one job and try to felt my hours little less to the other job just because he needed my help.
He graduated from kindergarten and now entering first grade for Sept. 2015
So when you say have to embrace every single moment with your child I agree with you 100%. I also would like to say thank you for writing and sharing this beautiful life story..😊😊😊
This post has really hit home for me. I remember another mom asking me, “are you a part time mom or a full time mom? ” My initial response was, “well define each to me and I’ll let you know?” She stated that, “a part time mom works and does not spend enough time with their kids.” My response was, “I love opinions because they are not facts. I work and spend a great amount of time with my child. However, even the greatest amount of time isn’t enough. Oh and I am a full time mom to answer your question.” As mothers we should not judge one another just because we choose to take different routes.