FYI: This picture has nothing to do with this post, but a post always needs a picture, right?!
Enjoy the read!
Are you one of those parents who had a baby, and then realized most of your relationships became distant or non existent?
Well that happened to me. I remember when I was pregnant a close friend of mine who also has a baby said when you have a baby the relationship with your partner becomes harder to maintain, and friendships aren’t usually the same; Tati you haven’t lied!
When I was pregnant I wasn’t able to do certain things my friends were, so I was usually left behind, but I was fine with that I didn’t have the urge to hang out late, and do the things they were doing, I was excited about preparing for this new chapter in my life.
Now that baby girl is here, my spare time is limited, I literally live by a schedule, so sometimes I can’t talk on the phone for hrs like I used to, or just pick up and leave to have dinner with friends. My friends are pretty understanding, but our friendships aren’t the same, especially since most of them don’t have any kids, we’re just in two different places in life, with different priorities.
Then there’s your significant other. Some of my friends who’ve had babies, said things got rocky in their relationship, compelling them to call it quits, or the dads who just left, and are missing in action. Thank God for my relationship, which I pray on daily is still going strong. I think having our daughter brought us closer, and made our relationship stronger, and no it’s not easy, but you fight for what you believe in; mutually (so cliche. but so true).
I will say having a baby does make a relationship harder in my opinion. The attention you were giving to the other goes to your child. Most of your time is spent being a caregiver; because a baby is a lot of work, and they require a lot of attention. And, when you work a full time job, get home and spend time with your child, put them down to sleep, you’re exhausted!!! at least for me. I’ve always had the nickname granny, but I think I’m really living up to the name now, because sometimes i’m asleep by 8:30pm.
Communication has definitely helped me in all of my relationships. If I miss my friends I have no problem calling them and telling them so.
Have any of you lost friends, significant others or became distant post baby? if so I’d like to here some stories in the comment section.
Sometimes the lost of these relationships are for the better, in my opinion.
Yea it do but me and her father don’t have that a lot all smh
It’s so true after I had my daughter a lot change for me even my realtionship with her father one of my close friends stop talking to me after she was born now it’s just me and my daughter a lot of people change even her father nothing is the same !!!
I agree. Thanks for all of your always giving the best advice.
You know where I stand in this. Love that you made this especially for new moms. It’ll get hard but you have to work for anything you want including relationships. Friendships are harder to work on especially if they don’t have children to understand. It really all boils down to communication.
Thank you for this wonderful comment. Hearing from someone who has experienced it firsthand, and made it through is always inspiring
For such a Young Woman your insight is spot on . I’m older now my youngest child just turned 17, I remember the hold shift motherhood brought not only to my friendships but to my marriage . I agree communication is the key . I believe that friends who are close to you will understand the changes in your life when you have a child ; those friends who don’t understand will eventually get left behind . I think acknowledging that things have changed with your partner when a child is born and can talk about those changes will help keep you together . Once again thank you for this wonderful read I truly enjoyed it !
Communicating, putting your guards down and spilling it all out there lol, make a conscious effort to spend quality time with each other sans baby (which, i’m working on too) sometimes you just have to agree to disagree in certain situations, we need to have this conversation in more depth elsewhere!
Great way to put it!
This is very true. I lost a lot of friends during pregnancy. The season for those set of friends had come and gone which gave me more room for the understanding individuals in my life whom I call my friends now.