Some of you may have read the title of this post and said “No, for what? I’m the adult and their the child”, or some of you may have said “Oh, yes absolutely”.
I can say both Sekou and I are very emotion conscious people if that makes any sense, and we encourage Alani to most definitely express her feelings (which she does naturally), and if I did something that was wrong on my end I have no problem apologizing and letting her know why I did what I did.
Because, I was a psychology major in undergrad, I really analyze everything. I also work in the mental health field where there’s a lot of teaching of replacement behaviors. Everyone does everything for a reason, to gain something, whether tangible, emotionally, sensory etc., but it’s for us to teach our children alternative appropriate ways of doings things. I try to practice this a lot, and trust me most times it is difficult when your patience runs thing, and sometimes it just doesn’t always work out like you’d like.
Growing up my mother was more of the “I said what I said” kind of mother, no explanations, but it worked for us. I feel like me explaining things to Alani opens up the door for conversation when I tell her no, and sometimes I don’t have time for a conversation and you need to do what I asked. Growing up we knew not to ask no questions, just did what we were told.
Are you the “Do what I said” parent or the do “what I said with an explanation” parent.
I’m the discipline with an explanation, like I want you to understand why you’re being disciplined in hopes that you won’t do it again.
This parenting thing ain’t easy yall.
Demitra says
You too. I really learn from all the wonderful mothers around me!!!
Widza Gustin says
With Zara I’ve tried the ” I said what I said” way because that’s also how I was raised but she counteracts with ” But mommy you have to give me an explanation”. That teaches me that I cannot parent w/ that objective. Explaining does wonders because Zara soaks it up and will repeat it again to show that she understood. I agree w/ your way SO much it most definitely helps w/ expression. Keep up the AMAZING work!! <3